San Antonio Express News 8/01/2004 
 
Dear Cathy: My daughter recently graduated from college. For the last 1-1/2 years, she has had a pet gourami fish named “Arthur.” She rescued him from some graduating seniors who threatened to flush him down the toilet if they couldn’t find someone to take him. His history was sad up until that point. He was the lone survivor in a tank of fish left alone during a Christmas vacation (into which someone crumbled old potato chips in a last minute attempt to leave them with some food).
 
I’ve never seen anyone with such an attachment to a fish. But she has taken excellent care of him and delighted in watching him thrive. After graduation, she refused to give him up and Arthur came home with her to San Antonio.
 
My daughter just moved to Houston, Arthur in tow. Upon arriving, she first got Arthur comfortably settled in her apartment in his old aquarium. My daughter called the next day to say Arthur was dead and she was devastated. I told her to wrap him up and put him in the freezer until we could decide what to do. She ended up putting Arthur in a lovely urn-type container. Inside Arthur was wrapped in a lovely blue satin cloth and on top of him rested a tiny white scroll tied with a white ribbon.
 
Arthur is now in my freezer in this container. My daughter would like him cremated. Is there someone in San Antonio you could recommend to do this? Or is this something I can do myself? 
 
– Susan
 
Dear Susan: I was sad to hear about Arthur’s early beginnings. Fish often die early deaths because of neglect. It was kind of your daughter to rescue him. She sounds like she was very attached to Arthur and that this relationship had a profound effect on her. Some readers may be surprised to learn that people can have a connection with a fish, but there are many fish lovers out there who name their fish and take excellent care of them. (And, of course, there are many others who do not).
 
I understand your desire to have a proper way to put Arthur to rest. I don’t know of anyone who would cremate Arthur unless he was cremated with a host of other animals. To have him cremated all by himself would cost a fortune. 
 
My recommendation is to keep Arthur in his urn, but fill the urn with clean sand. The sand will cause Arthur to dry out, eventually leaving only his skeletal remains. The sand will also insure there is no odor during this process. If you don’t want to keep Arthur in the urn, you might consider burying him in your yard and planting a shrub or tree over the burial spot in his memory.
 
Dear Cathy: I recently had a pet cremated and there was some confusion about the ashes. They were delivered to the wrong veterinarian. This got me thinking that we really don’t know if it is truly our pets when you send them off to be cremated. Have there been any investigations or scams regarding this? It seems like it would be an area rife for abuse and exploitation of grieving owners. 
 
- Monika
 
Dear Monika: I am not aware of any problems or scams in this area, but I too had my doubts when I received my dog’s ashes a few years ago. While I’m sure they were my dog’s ashes, it felt so strange to be holding him and I wondered “what if this isn’t my pet?” I imagine every pet owner must have similar feelings at that point. Hopefully, the people providing this service are operating from a mode of integrity.
 
I am sorry for your loss.